I have recently taken up Hockey. I pretty much have the full hockey gear, and I am slowly learning how to play the game. I am definitely not any good right now, but I am not too bad. I went snowboarding with Kevin Hamilton and a few members of his frat and a few freshmen. Less than 12 hours later, I played a hockey game against the Army ROTC in Cheel with full gear. I am part of the Women’s Hockey Club here at Clarkson now! I am also soon gonna take a ski trip with my friends from Clarkson, assuming we do before the snow melts. I am getting into winter sports now that I have become part of this state. I am now a resident of New York and registered voter within this state. I am slowly acquiring stuff for my life up here in the mainland. I have also been part of Clarkson TV station, WCKN, during the women’s hockey game against Princeton, manning camera two in the press box. I have also tried snowboarding, and I gotta say, I can barely keep off the floor! I have definitely gotten used to the snow and finding it more enjoyable than ever before.

Oh, the life’s dream,
it stands on the pedestal,
where we placed it last,
admiring from afar,
like a trophy for a distant victory.

Time will tell who the victors are,
dreamers awaken,
the finishline seems not so far,
who is the one to be forsaken?

I shouldn’t lose sight of my goals in life. I want to reach the Doctoral level of my degree in Engineering. I want to fly a plane, maybe a jet. I want to work for NASA, Lockheed Martin, and the DoD as a civilian scientist. I want to be in the Air Force in the aviation field, possibly as a pilot. I can never lose sight of these goals, ever again, for no one.

Contrary to everyone’s belief, I know spanish.

I fear finding myself in a situation that I think I can fix, but in all reality can’t, and be stuck in it forever as a result of wishful thinking that the problem is not there, much like my father has. I guess it is safe to say that I find myself facing the same situations my father did in these years, but I want to make the right choices and not end up regretting what he does to this day. I already know I have fucked up quite a bit. A legitamite fear, I suppose. I currently feel like that is the case right now, but the worst thing is that at this point in life, I really can’t see it well to pass judgement. In my fear of repeating my father’s mistakes, can I become a bad lover, daughter, soldier, or anything else that I wish to be in this life?

Actual wikipedia article.

In lieu of our second anniversary, I decided to be a bit creative and mischeivious. Sean didn’t particularly enjoy this, and it’s entire 5 seconds of defacement.

I want to know the ending of the story,
the plot is full of filler,
and my young mind can only think of endings,
not of details and long excerpts of scenery,
Does the good guy win?
Does he get the girl?
Does the bad guy get what is coming to him?
Does the good guy and the girl live happily ever after?
I must know,
I must know how the story ends,
the story drags on forever,
and my young mind cannot wait much longer,
I must know the ending.

Before, I was sure of where I was going
and how to get there.
You threw me a curve ball,
got me off track,
and my heart made me do things that I regret.
I regret you,
my head tells me to keep eyes on the prize,
my heart tells me you are the prize.
I spiral down to the ground,
a plane with only one wing,
shot out of the sky without a chance of bailing.
I want you,
but I can only put my hands in fire
so many times before I put two and two together
and see it is not worth getting burnt.

He wanted equal opportunity employment,
a job where he wouldn’t be confined to a cubicle,

he wasted his time in college,
There ain’t nobody hirin’ a loser,
bullied into thinking he was worth
nothing more by the biggest of all losers
in the most melodramatic point of life,
now he’s off to be cannon fodder.

Reckoned that he’d learn himself a trade
and maybe see the world, afterward,
teach children math and marry a black haired girl.
Somebody somewhere had another plan,
Now he’s got a rifle in his hand,
chasing ghosts in the hot dry air.
Who knew paying for college,
would cost him more than anyone,
for taking the easier road when things were bad.
Just another poor boy off to fight a another man’s war,
Just another poor boy off to fight a another man’s war.

When will we ever learn,
When will we ever see,
We stand up and take our turn
And keep tellin’ ourselves we’re free.

I am standing here,
as right before my eyes,
my life is torn to pieces.
A glass of brandy in hand,
I tell you on the phone,
miles away from you,
I refuse to take this abuse.

Let’s go back
back to the beginning
back to when we were starting out
and you would be eager to hold me,
and tell me how much you loved me.

Those roses you bought me are wilting,
turning black from age, and dying.
The photoshopped images
of us hang in my room,
a reminder of what I wish you were;
flawless.
a reminder of what I wish life was;
alterable.